I wrote this poem, about six weeks after seeing my therapist, feeling more empowered by knowing who I am.
I never dreamed of becoming a hero.
Never dreamed of becoming a doctor, a fireman, or an astronaut.
The closest I came to dreaming – was the dream of becoming a journalist
For I am always curious about the world,
Always seeking something out there in the world,
Never figure in the fragment of my imagination,
That I would amount to anything in the world.
I’m not saying that I would be a bum,
I’m just saying I never thought I may be a hero.
But life brings surprises in unexpected ways,
And without expectation, I realize I am on a journey to becoming my hero.
I had high expectations of myself,
I worked hard to be perfect.
Perfection wins me love,
Oh, I do so crave love.
There never seems to be enough.
Yet, when love is showered,
I retract behind a screen,
Not wanting to be seen,
Not believing I’m worthy.
We work hard for love,
We work hard for safety.
The world is a scary place,
We don’t want to be lonely.
So I keep working to perfect myself,
But winter came and snowed me into submission.
The cold of winter sharpened my senses,
And I began to sense my inner-self.
She has been sitting there gently inside me,
Waiting patiently for me.
Waiting for me to find her, to keep her company.
My inner-self is ever loving, ever safe,
And once found, she sets me free.
Let go of your fears. You are not alone. I am here.
“Find your hero’s journey!” she says.
A journey laid with treasures,
Each turned to reveal a discovery.
Discovery is what a seeker seeks.
What will I be? That we will see.
What I do know is what I am now,
A seeker – eager to partake in her hero’s journey.
I do not know how many climbs and falls lay ahead.
What I do know is that at the end of the journey,
I will smile at the road I’ve walked,
Savor each step I took,
Every memory that stitched the road,
Regardless of where it took.
Thank you winter for showing me my hero.
Thank you inner self for being my hero.