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When I find myself being a broken record of complaints

January 15, 2017

 

When my friends ask me how I’m doing, I sometimes sound like a broken record. Has that happened to you? Do you hear yourself complaining about the same things – relating the same stories over and over about why you can’t overcome something in your life?

 

In these moments, I feel bad for boring my friends, and feel frustrated that I am boring myself.

 

In these moments, I realize that I have been holding on to stories that don’t serve me for too long.

 

Accepting what is

 

It’s not easy to accept reality. For example, I don’t want to accept that this person is my boss; I don’t want to accept that I can’t afford to quit my job; I don’t want to accept that I have to work this weekend, AGAIN!

 

We constantly want what we don’t have, and it’s hard to give up on the idea of getting what we want. We complain to feel better. It’s okay to vent – in fact, it’s healthy to do so.

 

At the same time, the sooner we start accepting reality for what it is, the sooner we can truly bring about change.

 

Life is a basket of candies and poison pills

 

We tend to obsess over the things that are not going well, and forget all the things that are going well. It’s natural to take the good things for granted, and forget how the good things in our lives can balance out the bad. Seeing life as a basket of good and bad, a constant trade off of candy and poison, makes it easier to accept what is.

 

Brainstorm options

 

I always surprise myself by how close-minded I am about my options. For example, if I don’t like my boss, my options are not only to stay in my job and be unhappy vs. quit my job, but also how can I stay and be happy or happier? What actions can I take that is within my control that will better my situation? What fears am I avoiding?

 

When I ask myself a different question, different answers show up. More often than not, I feel stuck only because I haven’t asked myself enough questions.

 

Pick a direction

 

There is no guarantee that any action I take will yield the expected outcome. Life will continue to offer unexpected candies and poison pills. I can only take steps toward a goal and see what happens. The goal of life is to constantly take action, move forward, and accept what transpires.

 

Happy journeying.

 

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Love yourself every morning

How to believe in yourself

How to manage criticism

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