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What are the telltale signs of low self-esteem?

I answer questions on Quora sometimes. A Quora user asked me: "What are the telltale signs that my girlfriend has low self-esteem?" I am sharing my answer here with you because we --as women, can remind ourselves of our own beauty and help ourselves build our own self-esteem.

First of all, it is admirable to want to help your girlfriend with her self-esteem.

Here are a few common signs:

  • Girlfriend takes a long time to do her hair and makeup almost every time she heads out the door. Suggestion: Reassure her how beautiful she is repeatedly. Let her know how much you love her the way she is.

  • Girlfriend doesn’t say no to requests made by others, resulting in more stress in her life and your life. Suggestion: Show her how she can be more effective in helping others by first taking care of herself (i.e. put on her own oxygen mask before assisting others). Show her that she will be respected by setting healthy boundaries with people she cares about.

  • Girlfriend gets upset when you don’t pay for her. Suggestion: Reassure her that you love her and will support her. Seek to understand why she struggles with a scarcity mindset. Help her build confidence in her ability to make money and achieve financial freedom.

  • Girlfriend puts on a mask that “everything is okay,” even when she is not feeling okay. Suggestion: Help her feel safe to remove her mask by being vulnerable about your feelings. Let her know that you want to understand her, without any expectation that you want to fix her.

  • Girlfriend feels she is never good enough. Suggestion: Remind her constantly of her inner qualities that are beautiful to you. Let her know she is loved not because of her external accomplishments, but because of her values and inner spirit.

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